Good Grief

It's been over two months now in a quieter house, with an unoccupied room, a neglected backgammon game, and one less load of laundry, as we try to seem "back to normal," but often find those efforts exhausting. We read that "newly bereaved parents must find ways to get through, not over, their grief - to continue life's journey after their perspective on everything has changed."

The commentary goes on to predict:
"But in time... the waves of pain lose intensity and come less frequently. Then friends and relatives say the parents are getting over it, and that time heals all wounds. The parents themselves say that as the pain lessens, they begin to have energy for people and things outside themselves. This is a decision parents say they must make to live as well as they can in their new world. They can come to be happy, but never as happy." [Finkbeiner 1996]

This parallels my own thoughts in a poem I recently wrote.

MY NEW WORLD

In my new world, I see others going along
Living their lives as if nothing is wrong.
I did it myself back when life was carefree,
While some harbored pain that I didn’t see.

In my new world, God’s strength is my power
Minute by minute, and hour by hour.
It is strange to observe, but I see this is true:
The sun still shines and the sky is still blue.

In my new world, sorrow will often descend;
After shedding some tears, I look forward again.
New blessings appear, I’m more keenly aware.
I treasure each kindness, each sign others care.

In my new world, the biggest heartbreak
Has shifted my paradigm like an earthquake.
The future I thought I knew suddenly gone

So, I lean on the Lord to help me carry on.

November, 2009

We are learning that to acknowledge and share our grief is to heal.

From the sage wisdom of "The Office" manager, Michael Scott:

"...grief isn't wrong. There is such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown."