We did have a good day of remembrance last Thursday. Talking with Jamie on the phone, we found that U2's "A Beautiful Day" described the pleasant weather that God rolled out for us, both in Duluth and here in Stockton. Michelle accompanied us on a visit to Turlock Memorial Park, and then we had dinner at a restaurant that she and Derek had frequented, Keith's mom joining us there. As we shared memories of Derek, we found that they brought many smiles, even as we also allowed ourselves to "lean into" our sorrow at times. The kind words, notes, phone calls, and hugs from others who were remembering Derek, and us, were so heartwarming and uplifting. Those special blessings made it a truly beautiful day.
"...memory nourishes the heart, and grief abates."
~ Marcel Proust
I debated about it for awhile, but since part of the purpose of this blog is to "journal the journey," sharing my personal perspective on this Long and Winding Road, I will share this little note from a mother's heart - if only for the record - to mark the one-year milepost.
Dear Derek,
Each day is like the one before,
Enduring time without you.
You're ever present in my mind,
I miss everything about you.
A year has passed, I do my best,
But surely you understand, too,
That the grief I bear is equal to
The depth of my love for you.
As it must, the world goes on,
Though never for me the same.
Conversations sound so empty
Without a mention of your name.
Hearing fond remembrances
Brings to my heart a smile.
I pray you know how much you're loved,
Your life was so worthwhile!
I long to be with you again,
Separation hurts the worst.
Though I know you're in God's care,
My son, I should have been there first.
I love you,
Mom
September 30, 2010
5 comments:
Thanks for sharing Aunt Donna. The poem is beautiful. Very touching. You're doing great.. Keep smiling. Derek loves it when we smile. :) Love you.
Mom, your poetry is some of the most moving prose I've ever read. Not just because you have a brilliant way with words, but because Derek is so special to all of us. Every day I have with Kendall, I learn a little more how you must feel- I can't imagine ever losing her. We had a wonderful day sharing Deez memories over dinner, and slowly, sad memories of that day are being replaced with all the joyful memories we shared. I love you, and hope today is a happy day for you. :)
Thank you, Donna, for sharing your beautiful thoughts with us. I am so blessed to know you!
Donna,
What a beautiful poem! God has given you such a gift of heartfelt words.
I identify with this poem so deeply...
Love you,
Debbie
It truly was amazing. You are amazing! I just think God has blessed you in such a beautiful way Donna. WoW.... It's all I can say as a Mom, and a friend. Hang tough... You're definitely my inspiration. I think of you so often and say a little prayer. Derek would be so proud of you. i hope you know that... T
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